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January Journal Continued . . . 

Scott left again on another one of his business trips. I am beginning to question his ‘business trips’ which seem to be increasing in frequency.  Not that I mind. I am glad, even grateful, when Scott is away. I can’t sleep when he is at home, I’m always afraid he will pick the lock on my bedroom door, day or night.  

While Scott is away, the texts have started rolling in like a thunderstorm.  Scott continues to proclaim that our agreement with our marriage counselor never took place stating “You’re crazy. I never agreed to stay in the basement; you’re delusional to think that you have the right to lock the door and keep me out of my own bedroom!”

In another text Scott threatened, “I will call the locksmith when I get home if you still continue to lock the door.”  

Desperate and sleep-deprived, I reached out to our marriage counselor, Sally. I asked if I misunderstood our arrangement. Was I delusional?  Had I misinterpreted our conversation that day while in Florida?  That was one of the worst days of my life, holding my sobbing father after hearing his life was at stake, and then choosing OUT of our marriage per Scott’s ultimatum.  To my relief, Sally confirmed that “Yes,” during the conference call from Florida Scott had agreed to reside in the basement guest bedroom. She reassured me stating “I will reach out to Scott and remind him of the agreement.” 

I immediately took a photo of her text and saved it to a zip drive. I have started stockpiling loads of texts and emails against Scott should we go to trial.  (Thank goodness I started keeping track of literally hours upon hours of videos and recordings as well as hundreds of emails and texts, in addition to this journal.) This evidence will be crucial later when questioning my recollection of events, dates, times, etc. as well as my reality which has been brought into question numerous times because as Scott implied “I was delusional.”  However, I have come to realize this isn’t true. Our agreement with our therapist is a perfect illustration of the crazy wheel Scott kept me spinning on. I have to constantly reach out to friends, family, therapist, and my own journal to validate my perceptions and beliefs breaking down any self-doubt. 

While Scott was away on his current ‘business trip’ we later discovered that without my knowledge and approval Scott cashed out some of our stocks and took the check sent by overnight express from E*TRADE, forged my signature, and withdrew more than $71,000 in cash from our Chicago bank. Not only did Scott violate both the MRO and MSQ orders, he committed a felony by forging my signature!