When Life Changes in a Single Day

There are days when it feels like the world is ending.
Days when everything feels heavy, uncertain, and directionless.
Days when you wonder, Is this really my life? Is this all there is?

If you’ve lived through betrayal, control, or emotional erosion, those days aren’t rare—they’re familiar.

And then—almost without warning—everything changes.

A single phone call.
A chance meeting.
A quiet prayer spoken out loud.
A door you didn’t even know existed suddenly swings open.

It can feel like the flip of a switch.

I know this because I’ve lived it. And if you’re reading Year of Thorns, chances are you have too.

There was a day—one ordinary-looking day—that turned out to be the most consequential day of my life. It was the day I decided to leave. No fireworks. No applause. Just a bone-deep realization that staying was costing me more than leaving ever could.

That day felt like failure.
Like grief.
Like the end of everything I thought my life was supposed to be.

I didn’t know then that it was also the first day of my becoming.

When you leave a narcissistic or toxic relationship, there isn’t a clean break. There is fear. There is guilt. There is the terrifying question of Who am I without this person? And yet—somewhere beneath the wreckage—there is a small, steady voice saying, This is not the end. This is the beginning.

That single decision—made on the hardest day—changed the entire trajectory of my life.

I’ve seen this same quiet, divine alignment show up again recently, both in my own life and in my daughter’s. She became engaged to someone she hadn’t known for very long, and yet it felt unmistakable. Like a gift from heaven. A match made not by force or fear, but by peace. When you know, you know. No chaos. No convincing. Just certainty.

And then something similar happened to me.

One day, almost absentmindedly, I said out loud, “God, I just love flowers. I wish I could make a career out of this.” It wasn’t strategic. It wasn’t performative. It was a simple, honest longing—spoken without expectation.

The very next day, an amazing flower shop here in Naples called and offered me a job.

Just like that.

After years of survival mode—after living in a body trained to brace for impact—I suddenly found myself creating beauty. Getting paid to work with my hands. To breathe. To feel joy again. It felt like kismet. Like confirmation. Like the Good Lord whispering back, I heard you.

For so long, I had been standing at a crossroads, asking the same questions many women in Year of Thorns ask:
Where is my life going now? Can I trust myself again? Did I ruin everything—or did I save myself?

What I know now is this: the day you leave is not the day your life ends. It is the day the fog begins to lift.

You may not see the path yet. You may only see the wreckage behind you. But step by step, the road appears. Not all at once—but enough for the next right move.

Whether you call it God, divine timing, grace, or simply reclaiming your intuition—I believe there are moments when the universe meets us halfway. Not when we beg or force, but when we finally choose ourselves.

So this is a message of hope—for every woman still in the thorns.

Don’t give up.
Keep listening to that quiet inner voice.
Trust the longing in your heart—it survived for a reason.

Even on the day that feels like everything is falling apart, something beautiful may already be aligning behind the scenes.

Sometimes, the day you think your life is over…
is the very day it begins.


Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse: Why It Resembles the AA 12-Step Program More Than You Think

When people hear the word recovery, they often think addiction — alcohol, drugs, gambling. Rarely do we connect it to relationships. Yet, anyone who has loved, lived with, or left a narcissist knows: reclaiming yourself after abuse requires a level of healing every bit as structured, layered, and courageous as the 12-step journey of Alcoholics Anonymous.


1. Acceptance of Reality

AA Step 1 begins with admitting the problem is real. Healing from narcissistic abuse begins the moment you finally accept this wasn’t love — it was manipulation. You surrender the fantasy, stop minimizing, and acknowledge the emotional harm that was done. Like I often say: what you’re not changing, you’re choosing. Acceptance becomes your moment of truth — and your doorway out.

2. You Can’t Do This Alone

AA members rely on sponsors and fellowship. Survivors of narcissistic abuse must also find support — therapists, best friends, faith, fellow survivors. Isolation keeps you stuck in the fog. Community brings clarity, strength… and hope.

3. Rebuilding a Sense of Self

Where AA seeks spiritual awakening, survivors seek self-awakening. After narcissistic abuse, you must rebuild who you are from the inside out. You rediscover your voice, passions, and worth. You begin to believe — in yourself again, and in God’s ability to restore what was broken.

4. Taking Inventory of the Damage

Step 4 in AA requires fearless self-inventory. Survivors similarly ask: Where did I abandon myself? What boundaries did I allow to be crossed… and why? This isn’t self-blame; it’s sacred awareness that leads to better boundaries — and better choices.

5. Making Amends — To Yourself

In AA, amends are made to those you’ve harmed. Survivors make amends to the person they harmed most: themselves. You forgive yourself for staying, for trying, for believing lies. You choose self-compassion over self-criticism.

6. Daily Maintenance (Because Triggers Are Real)

Healing isn’t linear — you may still crave them, miss them, dream of the good times. That’s the trauma bond, not love. Just like AA members need daily check-ins to stay sober, survivors need daily practices — prayer, gratitude, affirmations, exercise, therapy — to stay emotionally free.

7. Helping Others

AA teaches that helping others is the final step in healing. Survivors often feel a deep calling to help other women — to share their story, speak truth, shine light into the darkness. When your pain becomes your purpose, you know you’re free.


Believe — And Remember Why You Were Chosen for This Journey

Believe in yourself. Believe in God. Believe that you were brought into a narcissistic relationship not to destroy you, but to teach you, grow you, and awaken you. This was part of your soul curriculum — your time in the wilderness. And now? You’re walking back home to yourself.

Recovery isn’t a one-time decision — it’s a thousand brave choices, made one day at a time. But I promise you: if you keep choosing yourself, keep choosing truth, keep choosing God… freedom finds you.

3 Key Tips to Break Free from a Toxic Relationship

  1. Overcome Fear
  • What you’re not changing, you’re choosing. Every day you stay in a toxic relationship, you’re choosing to remain in a cycle of pain and suffering. You have the power to change that.
  • Fear is what keeps you stuck. The fear of the unknown, the fear of change, and even the fear of being alone can feel overwhelming, but they will keep you trapped in a situation that isn’t serving you. You cannot grow in an environment of constant fear.
  • You can’t become who you’re meant to be while living in fear. Breaking free requires courage, but it’s a step toward reclaiming your true self. You cannot evolve or heal if you are constantly in a state of survival.
  • Push beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. It might feel impossible, but the discomfort you feel now will be worth it when you’re living your life on your own terms. Change begins when you’re willing to face that fear head-on.
  • Be honest with yourself. The first step in breaking free is acknowledging the truth of your situation. Stop minimizing the toxic behaviors, and be real about what you’re enduring. The path to healing starts with self-honesty.

2. Be Prepared

  • Protect your finances and belongings. Secure important documents, set aside emergency funds, and take anything that matters to you. Preparation can make your escape easier when the time comes.
  • Know your legal rights. Consult a lawyer and get informed about your rights, especially if there are children, shared assets, or legal matters involved. This will give you the confidence to take action when you’re ready.
  • Have a safe place in mind. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a shelter, know where you can go if things escalate. Having a backup plan ensures that you’re not caught off guard when you need to leave quickly.

3. Believe in Yourself

  • Trust your feelings. Toxic relationships often make you question your own reality, but your feelings are valid. You deserve clarity, peace, and a relationship that lifts you up, not tears you down.
  • You deserve kindness and happiness. You are worthy of love that respects and values you. Don’t settle for less. Break free and create the space for joy, healing, and positivity to enter your life.
  • You are strong. You’ve already shown incredible courage by considering breaking free. Trust your strength and keep going—each step you take brings you closer to a brighter, healthier future full of rainbows.

You are a survivor and a thriver—this experience has taught you invaluable lessons that will make you stronger, wiser, and more resilient. You have everything you need within you to break free, heal, and step into the life you truly deserve. The best is yet to come, and it’s yours for the taking.

What’s keeping you from taking that first step?